Truth

I love that this is turning into kind of an online confessional booth. But I just logged on to ask: Why do we say stuff that's not true ALL THE TIME? It's like lying has become okay if it's with good intention. I've recently realized that I am TERRIBLE about this.

A few weeks ago, Mr. L was telling me a story and I needed to go into the bedroom to get something. So instead of "hold on," I said, "I'm still listening." and promptly walked out of the room and into the closet from where it would in fact be impossible for me to keep listening. I laugh about it now, but it is really indicative of something that in principle I believe to be wrong: lying. Why,for instance, didn't I just say "wait a second," instead of something that was blatantly untrue?

I usually do an experiment with my class when I teach about Buddhism where I ask them to note, mentally, every time they tell a lie in the course of one day. I usually do it too, just to play along. It's INCREDIBLE. Here are some choice examples that you may identify with:
"I'm sorry, I don't have any change to spare." (Yes, I DO in fact, I just don't want to give it to you.)
"No, I can't meet then. " (I can, I just would prefer to watch TV instead.)
"Let's hang out sometime." (And I'll just hope you never take me up on it!)
"I'm still working on that." (By which I mean I totally forgot I said I was going to do that until you just mentioned it.)
"Yes, Officer..." (And anything that follows.)
"I thought I emailed you about...." (And by thought I mean, I didn't.)
"I love that look on you..."
"That's so funny." (Especially if this statement is not accompanied by laughing.)
"That's okay, really."
The list goes on.

I liken this to the pre-recorded voice I am forced to listen to when I am on hold that tells me, "We appreciate your call." (Do you really?) and "Thank you for your patience." (You have no idea whether I'm being patient or not.) It's as if something about saying these things is important even if they're not true. As if there are things that need to be said that don't correspond to reality and we've all agreed that this is okay.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go on a truth-blitz in which everyone told the honest-to-God truth for one day. Wouldn't that be so liberating? And terrifying? I'm not saying I'm going to do it soon, but maybe it's something we should put on the to-do list.

But for now, "I'm going to work on it."