Friday, September 17, 2010

A Note About Books

My friend MJ doesn't believe that I actually read the books I put in my sidebar under "books I'm reading." That's okay, but I actually do read them just for honesty's sake. But it occured to me that I should make clear that I'm not recommending all the books on my list. I'm just telling you what I'm up to. So I don't want to take responsibility for you reading them and hating them because they were on here.

That said, I did recently finish: Home by Marilynne Robinson and The History of Love, by Nicole Krauss, both of which were, in a word, aMAZing. 

Home (which I should disclose everyone in my book club HATED) was a retelling of the prodigal son story in the 1960s in a little town in Iowa. It's a quasi-sequel to Gilead, which I read in graduate school and didn't like nearly as much. Home is unique in that it seems to actually have no plot. By that I mean nothing actually happens in the entire book. But it is still a great story, about redemption and confession and salvation and grace and all those things and how they work, or don't. Anyway, I realized after our book group discussion that the book is deeply and unapologetically Christian, Reformed Christian at that, and so may not carry as much meaning for those not steeped in that tradition. But I still loved it. (MJ: You might like this too...check it out!)

The History of Love is a novel about various characters all somehow connected to the manuscript of a book with the same title, written by a young writer in Poland at the start of the holocaust for his love who leaves for America without him.  It's fabulously written, creative and sophisticated. Though I was surprised and confused by the end, which made me want to go back and read the whole thing again! It is very similar to a book written by the author's husband, Jonathan Safran Foer, called Everything is Illuminated, which is also amazing. I'd love to be a fly on the wall at their dinner table one day.

And now I'm on to Committed, the most recent book by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love. Committed is an expose about marriage and also a chronicle of the author's journey toward a second marriage after her first failed one. I absolutely KNOW that I will find it annoying and petty as I did Eat, Pray, Love, so I'm not sure why I'm bothering other than that I bought it for book club and then didn't read it and now feel compelled to do so by our discussion. (Let me for a moment defend my hatred of the most popular 'chic-lit' book in America right now: I canNOT feel sorry for someone who has a rough time and then gets paid a huge advance to travel around the world carelessly and write about finding herself. Most of us have a rough time and then continue along with our regular lives and somehow deal without an all-expense paid round-the-world therapy venture. So just suck it up, okay.) Anyway, I'm onto Committed. But to balance it out, J-Dogg and I have decided to start reading The Brothers Karamazov together, which should be much more intellectual and take approximately five years to finish. I'll let you know how it goes.

For now, keep reading, mon chers!

p.s. Okay....let's be honest: Part of my despising Elizabeth Gilbert is that maybe a small part of me is jealous that they would never get Julia Roberts to play me in the memoir of my life. They'd probably get Jane Lynch and make her gain 40 pounds.

Eavesdropping

We're convinced that our next door neighbors may have won the lottery recently, because after living here for 3 years and not doing a single shred of work on their house, they have, suddenly, in the last three weeks:
Had their house repainted
Installed Central Air Conditioning
Removed a dead tree from the edge of their property
Rebuilt the retaining wall that supported said tree
Rebuilt their back patio
Replaced the back stairs going into their basement
Had the driveway and front walk repaved
Torn down and prepared to replace the fence around their backyard
Dug a 4' deep hole where said yard used to be and begun to replace it with a nice slate patio and new landscaping.

The drawback to all of this is that there have been huge trucks and pieces of contruction equipment droaning away directly outside our window for weeks now (causing a parking crisis and a generally nerveracking atmosphere)  But the upside is that I have (by benefit of our condo's proximity to the ground and this neighbor's property) been privy to most hilarious conversations of all time happening between the workmen just outside the window. Because I work quite a bit from home and because the weather has been quite pleasant recently, I've been sitting here with the window open and pieces of these conversations have wafted in periodically. Here are some choice snippets:

 ....I mean, do you like that new guy?
HELL no, man. I can't stand that guy. And he knows it to. He can see it in my eyes.....

(Later) ....But do you believe in heaven and hell and that sh#$? Or do you like think everyone's going to heaven no matter what though?
I don't know, man. But I think some'a those priests are going to hell man.
(Muffled response)....that new guy believes in this stuff, you know.
Yeah....I guess I can see him doing that. In that little booth and sh&*.

.....Yo, did you see that movie though? That romantic comedy sh@#? (I'm fairly sure they're talking about Eat, Pray, Love).

F#$& that man. Yeah, I did. It was the worst two hours of my life. I'd rather die than watch that sh&^ again. I'd rather get beat up for two hours than watch that sh*%.

(Singing) Rocketman, Rocketman, Rocketman.....(no radio is present.)
...NO, man. He's gonna come around here and be PISSED.
Right, man. Let's just not say anything.

....You're right, though. She is hot. Hot, hot, hot, hot, HOT. I wonder if she's like normal hot girls, you know?


And so on and so on.  You know, they'll never know it but they've brought a little sunshine in my life these past few weeks. I'll be sad to see them go. Their trucks, though, not so much.

Sabbath Update

I thought I'd log in to update you on the status of my new Sabbath practice. Today marks my fourth sabbath observance and I would say it is going...okay. So far, it stands as follows:

Pros:
*Actually having scheduled time off to look forward to rather than working 24/7 and being pissed about it.
*Being about to count on an evening each week set aside for a nice dinner and evening with the Beloved.
*Being able to take time to read for pleasure without feeling guilty that I'm slacking off all my other tasks.
*Blogging.
*Reading scripture for personal edification rather than teaching and preaching, something I haven't found time to do since I was about 15.
*Establishing a sabbath (and putting it on my calender) actually makes me feel as though I have an excuse to say no to stuff, which in turn allows me to manage my work load.
*The house gets cleaned every Thursday afternoon, pre-Sabbath, which means that I am less stressed about finding time to do it the rest of the week.
*It's nice to light candles and stuff.
*I do actually sense the slightest increase in my ability to live in the present and be aware of things. This may also be a change in diet that involves drinking less coffee, but who knows?

Cons:
*What do I actually do all day? Something I have not yet figured out. If I do normal stuff, I feel like I'm not being holy enough (which is a completely ridiculous thing to think, but it's what I think). If I do holy stuff, I feel like I'm being inauthentic and ridiculous. I'm not a nun, you know. (You might not know, but I'm not.)
*What do I NOT do? Something I have not yet figured out. I don't want to do work (including housework) but what about doing the dishes from the nice dinner we made? Or what about packing to go on a trip on Friday night or Saturday? I don't want it to be time to just "get stuff done" but what if that "stuff" is stuff I find really edifying, like reading the book club book or the latest issue of Christian century? Can I check my email? What if I promise to respond only to personal things? Is it still work if I see the other "work-related" emails in my inbox but don't respond? All important questions with no answers yet. Though I do find solace in the fact that serious Jews have been asking these questions and answering them for 4000 years and are still thinking about it.
*I do spend the last 12 hours of the 24 hour sabbath being anxious about all the stuff I have to do the minute the Sabbath is over. Which is precisely not what I'm supposed to be doing.
*I vacilate back and forth between feeling like I should have two Sabbath days (God needed one off, and we're mere humans! Don't we need twice as many!) and feeling as though I can't possibly actually take this time off there is so much to do!
*It is actually really hard to not feel needed or productive for 24 hours in a row. I think there's a word for this (humility? is it?), but whatever it's called I know I don't love the feeling.
*Once the fall gets underway in earnest, I think I'll have to cut down on each side to make room for other stuff that is "must" in life, which is paradoxical.

All that said, I think I am going to stick with it for a while and see how it goes. For now, Shabbat Shalom again!

FREAKOUT

OhmygodohmygodohmygodohmyGOD, I am totally freaking out. Because the CRAZIEST thing just happened.

I was walking the dog (I case you're wondering, no, that wasn't the crazy thing. I've been trying to talk the dog more these days. But I digress.). And I walked passed a building about a block from here that has two ground floor units with semi-enclosed patios that face the street. I say semi-enclosed because there is about a 5 foot tall wall around them made from those bricks with holes in the middle, so you can sort of see in, sort of not. Anyway, as I was walking up to said patios, I noticed a man coming out of one of the apartments to sit in one of the patio chairs. I noticed him because he seemed to be talking loudly to someone inside the apartment. He said something that seemed a bit strange, which I thought was, "I want to see that butt." But I didn't think too much of it, as I thought he might be at best joking with someone or at worst sexually harassing his housemate.

But as I passed, I casually glanced into the apartment over the fence and realized that he was to talking to a MANNEQUIN. That's right a mannequin (which I just had to google to figure out how to spell). This mannequin happened to be propped up as though it was sitting at a desk facing out the window.  And he was talking to it.

And I instantly had two thoughts. The first was, "What the F*&% is this guy doing talking to a mannequin?" and the second is "I'm going to die." The reason for the first seems obvious. The reason for the second is that I have watched WAY too many crime TV shows which depict weirdos who do things like talk to mannequins and then go out and rape and kill people.

But TV lunatic criminal sprees aside, am I being completely ludicrious or is this not REALLY WEIRD? Or am I just too sheltered to know that the latest trend is for people to sit around talking to mannequins?

Holy moly. I am never walking the dog again.



p.s. Mannequin man: I hope you're not reading this. And if you are, that you don't come and kill me.

Old News

Bad news. I think I might be getting old. No seriously. Old.


The first evidence of this was that when I woke up this morning I noticed, right around my eyes, something I've never noticed before: wrinkles. Not big ones, but they are definitely there. Which seems impossible. Because I'm not old enough to have wrinkles. Except that apparently I am, because I have some. I immediately emailed a friend to see if SHE had wrinkles and if so what she was going to do about it. But I haven't heard back. So I've been occupying myself with images of me at 50 looking like this:



Which wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, as this lady looks pretty awesome. But still. Am I old enough to have wrinkles?

And then I thought of OTHER subtle indications that I might be getting old. Like the fact that I was INCENSED that our upstairs neighbor was having a party and playing loud music a few weekends ago. How disrespectful, I said. How inSENsitive. We should go tell her to turn the music down and stop being such a jerk, I suggested. J-Dogg kindly pointed out that it was only 10 p.m. And that it was Saturday. And that I was getting old.

It's all starting to make sense. Coming home last Friday from a film premiere at the MFA (and, let's be honest, some drinks afterward at the Oak Room), Mr. LIOLI and I somehow got stuck in a swarm of local college students on their first Friday night out on the town. Because I am apprently now OLD and rarely go "out on the town" at the same time as 20-somethings, I had forgotten about how overwhelmingly ridiculous they are. A group of what seemed like 200 of them mobbed our T car, completely unaware of the conductor SCREAMING into the PA system that there was in fact no more room on the train, and immediately preceded to talk loudly to each other and play with their iPhones. While trying to subtly express my annoyance to Mr. L, I had a sudden flash of insight: I used to BE one of these people....totally self-absorbed, unaware of the world around me and having a great time. What's so different about me now, I wondered? Well I got old. And stopped being ridiculous (well, at least decreased in ridiculousness a bit). And grew wrinkles.

My father might suggest that I should be thankful for all the wisdom I have developed by being older. (He likes to say on every birthday that he's amazed that his level of wisdom just keeps increasing all the time. The wisdom....it's ASTONISHING, he says. ) But I don't know if I'm sold. I might consider sticking with naive and smooth-skinned. Or maybe try to purchase some wrinkle cream.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Movie Personalities

I think there should be a new personality test based on the movie categories that Netflix suggests for you and what they say about you and your preferences.

For instance, I wonder what it says about me that Netflix recently recommended the following categories of movies for me:
Beat the System Dramas Based on Real Life
Critically Acclaimed Feel-Good Comedies
Gay and Lesbian Independent Dramas
Goofy Suspenseful Action Adventures
Indie Romances
Visually-striking Exciting Movies
Witty Opposites Attract Comedies
Critically Acclaimed Understated Dramas

So it seems like I might be a goofy, visually-striking yet understated witty lesbian seeking to feel good and beat the system. Is this true? The possibilities are endless...

Primary Pests

We're about to elect a new state senator here in our district. We know this because there are helpful sandwich boards up all over town reminding everyone that the primary is next Tuesday. That and the approximately 2700 phone calls we've gotten about the election.

I can tell you without exaggeration that for the last few weeks we've gotten between 2 and 5 calls per day from the two democratic candidates' campaign offices asking us for whom we would be voting. Sometimes they are recorded calls from other political figures, sometimes calls from real live individuals at "The Committee to Elect So-and-So" and so on and so on.

All this is not only ANNOYING but reminds me of a fantasy I always have during this time of year. I should preface this by saying that I am familiar with our political system and therefore aware of the many reasons this would not work, but I love to think of it anyway.

What if, instead of making all these inane phone calls to ask me again and again who I was going to support, the well-educated, well-intentioned young people who I'm sure are on the other end of the phone were empowered to actually DO something? What if instead of bothering me during dinner they actually went out and spent those 4 hours SOLVING THE PROBLEMS these candidates claim to care about?

I LOVE to fantasize about a political campaign in which volunteers show up at the campaign headquarters only to be shipped off in vans to various part of the city to tutor children, fix up housing projects, provide transportation and companionship for the elderly, and upgrade green spaces in our city. Wouldn't that be the BEST? Wouldn't that make so much SENSE? Heck, give them t-shirts with the candidate's name on them if you'd got to do some PR. But do SOMETHING other than calling me all damn night.

It's sad that our political situation has become so ridiculous that mobilizing young people to create change means getting them to call people on the phone instead of participating in their neighborhoods and communities doing productive stuff.

In fact, I'm starting to get motivated to just go out and do some good stu......oh wait, I think the phone is ringing.....

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Wilderness Survival

Though I did plenty of camping as a child with my family, as I've grown to adulthood I haven't been much for outdoor activity. I now take a bit more after my father in not being too physically adventurous, though I had a good role model of outdoorsy-ness in my mother who spent the better part of her youth backpacking, back-country skiing, teaching my uncles to gut fish and doing all manner of other completely awesome superwoman-esque things. But not me, at least not recently. So you can imagine that when my husband announced about 6 months ago that he would like to get back into backpacking, I didn't jump at the opportunity. In fact, I put it off as long as possible. But that ended this weekend.

We decided (relatively last minute, as we tend to do) that this was going to be the weekend. This meant that Saturday was dedicated to preparations. We made a final trip to R.E.I. for last minute supplies, though it was hard to imagine we needed anything as backpacking paraphenalia has been trickling into our house constantly for the last 6 months. (Mr. LIOLI shares with his father a certain tendency towards being a serial hobbiest and insisting that one must have all the proper gear for each said hobby. Where do we put all these accoutrements, you ask? An excellent question.) Anyway, we did still need a few things: food (freeze-dried in little pouches...weird, but cool!), hiking boots for me, Dr. Bonner's all-purpose soap, an extra water bottle, etc. Barely avoiding the post-game Red-Sox T-riders, we headed home to pack up.


We headed out directly after church the next morning and I must admit, I wan't the most pleasant travel companion. I wasn't excited at all and in fact was a bit nervous. Carrying everything I needed to survive on my back just didn't sound like that good of an idea. (Sidenote: I should be honest. When all was said and done my pack weighed in at only 20 lbs. My beloved's came in at just under 50. So I should rephrase that last sentence to read: "Carrying some of the stuff I needed to survive on my back and relying on Mr. LIOLI to carry the rest didn't sound like that good of an idea.") Anyway, I didn't think it was going to be any fun, and had visions (which I described to Mr. LIOLI in detail in the car the whole way there) of all the suffering and misery that would probably occur. What if my pack was too heavy? What if I got a blister? What if we got attacked by a bear? Or worse an axe-murdered (I've been watching too many Criminal Mind reruns, I can tell.)? Or what if we got lost? Mr. L had responses for everything unfortunately. He doesn't seem to have forgotten anything from his boyscouting days, though that was more than a decade ago.


Anyway, (and I can admit this because I am self-actualized and trained in self-reflection), as it turned out, I was wrong. It was totally awesome. The hike was amazing, through varied and beautiful terrain with plenty of ups and downs but not too much climbing. We saw redwood forests and birches and maples, meadows and beaver ponds and swamps and old rock walls, huge Indian caves and abandoned settler's dwellings. And it was actually really fun to be packing things in and out: like we were really surviving! (I should also admit that all the gadgets which I had mercilessly mocked for months--what the hell do you need THAT for--did really contribute in a huge way to the lightness of our packs the pleasantness of the journey.) Roxy the wonderdog had a great time and was a good travel companion. She even carried her own gear in a dog backpack (Thanks, Crandall!).


We camped the night at "Roaring Brook Tentsites" which should be renamed, "Stagnant Creek Tentsites" given the waterlevel at this time of summer (though we were able to filter our water there...just not take a dip!). But the tent sites were big and flat and we had plenty of privacy (only one other couple was staying there, about 100 yards away.) We set up camp, cooked our dinner over the propane stove, had hot chocolate for dessert and then went to bed as soon as the sun went down. Though we were awoken by some crazy animal noises in the middle of the night (sounds we're not used to living in the middle of a huge metropolis!), we did okay overall. We hiked out the next morning and headed back to MA for some showers and a long afternoon nap.

And that was it. Survival. Everything we needed on our backs. Pretty cool stuff if you ask me. I'm now totally up for round 2 this weekend. I'll let you know if I can convince Mr. L. (to whom I owe great thanks for again convincing me that new things can be fun!). Maybe I'll even call Mom to ask for some advice. :)