OhmygodohmygodohmygodohmyGOD, I am totally freaking out. Because the CRAZIEST thing just happened.
I was walking the dog (I case you're wondering, no, that wasn't the crazy thing. I've been trying to talk the dog more these days. But I digress.). And I walked passed a building about a block from here that has two ground floor units with semi-enclosed patios that face the street. I say semi-enclosed because there is about a 5 foot tall wall around them made from those bricks with holes in the middle, so you can sort of see in, sort of not. Anyway, as I was walking up to said patios, I noticed a man coming out of one of the apartments to sit in one of the patio chairs. I noticed him because he seemed to be talking loudly to someone inside the apartment. He said something that seemed a bit strange, which I thought was, "I want to see that butt." But I didn't think too much of it, as I thought he might be at best joking with someone or at worst sexually harassing his housemate.
But as I passed, I casually glanced into the apartment over the fence and realized that he was to talking to a MANNEQUIN. That's right a mannequin (which I just had to google to figure out how to spell). This mannequin happened to be propped up as though it was sitting at a desk facing out the window. And he was talking to it.
And I instantly had two thoughts. The first was, "What the F*&% is this guy doing talking to a mannequin?" and the second is "I'm going to die." The reason for the first seems obvious. The reason for the second is that I have watched WAY too many crime TV shows which depict weirdos who do things like talk to mannequins and then go out and rape and kill people.
But TV lunatic criminal sprees aside, am I being completely ludicrious or is this not REALLY WEIRD? Or am I just too sheltered to know that the latest trend is for people to sit around talking to mannequins?
Holy moly. I am never walking the dog again.
p.s. Mannequin man: I hope you're not reading this. And if you are, that you don't come and kill me.