So here's something that's been on my mind lately: What on earth do you say when greeting street people? In my current position, I interact almost daily with people in various stages of homelessness. But I never quite know how to begin my conversations with them. My educated, middle-class social instinct would be to lead with: "Great to meet you. Do you live in (fill in town I happen to be in at that moment)?" But that won't work, right, because that's the WHOLE DAMN POINT that they don't live ANYWHERE. My typical back-up question for social conversation is, "And what do you do for a living?" which also mostly won't work for obvious reasons. So I usually result to, "How are you doing?" which I sometimes I later regret, because the answer, whether they say it like this or not is, "How the F&*% do you think I'm doing? I'm F(*$ing homeless!"
No need to insert commentary here on a society that assess our value on where we live and what we do as a job, as I'm sure you could all compose this in your own heads, and I do know that asking how people are is in fact showing them kindness, which is helpful in some grand scheme of things. But what I'm talking about is how to get to know people, in a meaningful way, without using any conventional modes of conversation or making inappropriate assumptions (So, you must be staying at the shelter?) or making people uncomfortable (Please tell me your life story including all the tragic details so that I can get to know you.).
Yet another one of the many conundrums of my particular ministerial setting that I have yet to answer.....
It might make you feel better to know that I: 1) volunteered at a homeless outreach center for 1.3 years, 2) worked at a mens emergency homeless shelter for 3 years and 3) now volunteer AGAIN at the same homeless outreach center mentioned in point (1)...and I still struggle with this. It is a hard habit to break and the pattern that homeless people's lives take is so, so different from our own. I have found that asking, "How are you" is okay, as long as you are totally ready for whatever they say next and can take it with a sense of humor. I think that the response can sometimes be meant to shock you and as long as you stay in the conversation you are doing okay.
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