Dog Vortex

I do not feel at all ashamed to admit that I have absolutely no idea how prayer works....the physics of it, I mean. But I can say with some degree of confidence that if it has anything to do with radio frequency, I am experiencing some serious static feedback.

I have recently been diligently praying for my church to grow. Having had no other relevant training in church transformation at either my seminary or the church which I had previously been hired to transform, I thought prayer represented a reasonable first step. "Send us visitors, dear Lord, who can be nurtured, cared for and taught the faith within these walls." "Help us to welcome those who find their way into our midst." "Inspire us to reach out to others." Blah, blah, blah.

I'm pretty sure God did hear my prayer. But I think it got muddled up somewhere in the transmission. Because the only ones showing up are dogs.

Seriously, I think my church is some sort of lost dog vortex. It's as if we exist inside a Star Trek-esque magnetic anomaly that attracts any and all lost dogs, who romp over here in their newly found freedom with a canine abandon usually reserved for things covered in bacon grease.

In the last three weeks, eight lost dogs have found their way here. Small and large, mangy and well-tended, there they are, running through the grass, in several cases, playing with other lost dogs who have found their way to our yard. In fact, just today, I watched from my office as three TINY dogs ran across our property about 5 minutes apart. (I think they were making a run for the Mormon church across the street....way better fellowship food over there, I hear.)

Sometimes I go out and try to get them (and then kick myself as I know the church experts would tell me that to transform a church one must spend one's time doing important things other than chasing stray dogs) and sometimes when I can't go get them (say I'm on the phone with someone or in a meeting), I say a little prayer for their survival as I watch them trot off toward the busy road on which our church sits.

If I were a church transoformation visionary, I would find a way to turn this reality into an outreach ministry. But really, all I can think is, seriously? More dogs? How about some young, attractive, financially stable families with young, well-behaved children? Can you hear my God? Maybe we should switch channels.....