The Consumation of Compromise

I was just reminded by a recently married friend how much of adjustment it can be to get married (or make a long term commitment to someone else) and realize that everything in your entire life has now become a collaborative endeavor. Suddenly every single detail of your life goes from simple decision to two-party discussion; from what time you wake up to what time you go to bed, what you eat for dinner to where you open a savings account, what kind of peanut butter you buy to what TV program you watch. And that takes some energy to adjust to. This is not to say that there is anything bad about this transition, in fact there are many instances in which having two heads (or hearts or bank accounts or senses of humor) to apply to any of life's curveballs can be life-giving. But I do think that it is important to acknowledge, within a culture that treats pairing off as the ideal lifestyle, that this type of lifestyle is a compromise, one that takes energy, and may not be for everyone. Especially those who are particularly committed to a particular brand of peanut butter.