Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The F-Word

I've just been exposed to a strange and mystical world that I have never before been privy to: the life of the Feline (No, not that other f-word....sinners.). Anyhow, we are cat-sitting for a friend who has left the country for a month. And I can already say that I've learned more than I ever wanted to know about cats. I feel like a wildlife biologist most of the time watching this strange creature and wondering what the HELL it is thinking....or why humans ever bothered to try to domesticate them in the first place.

Now I've read all the email forwards about the differences between cats and dogs, but I never knew they were this true. Dogs, I know from 5 years of having a large dog as part of our family, are categorically 1) interested in what you are doing, 2) committed to doing what you want unless completely distracted, and 3) desirous of your affection at all times. (See left.) Cats on the other hand don't seem to give a rat's ass what I am doing or what I would like them to do and about my affection.

Also, I've learned that cats spend about 22.5 hours a day doing this:

Except for select periods (usually around 5 a.m., 3 p.m. and 10 p.m.) when they suddenly transform into huge fuzzy pinballs zipping around the house as though they are having some sort psychotic episode fueled by a video-game-esque turbo boost. During these periods, they may be prone to engage in any of the following d:
1) Attempting to climb pieces of furniture not designed to accommodate the weight or movement of a living creature.
2) Perching atop said furniture in order to swat at the dog's head and face.
3) Digging in the dog's food bowl.
4) Jumping into the sink and bathtub.
5) Bulletting in and out of a small vinyl tunnel apparently designed for this purpose. (See below.)

6) Meowing for no apparent reason.
AND 7) Knocking things off flat surfaces including, but not limited to, framed photos, keys, small trinkets, cosmetics and other items made from breakable material (Note: If you want to make sure your adrenline system is still working, try being woken up in the early hours of the morning by the sound of several cut glass decanters FULL of various liquors crashing to the floor and spilling everywhere. Then run out into the living room to find the cat sitting, unassumingly in the window as if nothing has happened....yes, I KNOW.)

All that said, I am glad to have had a glimpse into the life of my cat-owning friends. Perhaps now I understand them a bit better (Cat-lovers: Can you corroborate any of this?). Because they can be pretty damn cute. And it's been a good character building experience for the LIOLI hound.

But overall, I have to say that I think I'll be ready to head back to being a dog-only household when the month is over (to say nothing of the dog's readiness to go back to a single pet household!). At least until I give up drinking, framed photos, dogs, anxiety and a clean sink.


  1. I just forwarded this to Jeff - He thought it was hilarious and he completely agrees!

  2. As a dog and cat owner, I confirm everything you wrote about both species, especially cats. They are cute, though! I'd love to know how Roxy felt about the new roomate.

  3. Why do you think we got that piece of furniture to hold all the booze bottles? The cats say hello.