Ambition (to the tune of "Tradition")

Does anyone else feel as though your level of ambition has been steadily declining since about age 19? I certainly do. If you had asked me exactly ten years ago about what I would do with my life it probably would have gone something like this:
"I'll probably go to law school (and do very well of course) and then work for a non-profit helping the poor before running for public office and then becoming the youngest president ever (take that JFK) and solving war, hunger and poverty at home and abroad, after which I might get ordained as a minister and run a huge, awesome and progressive church that does lots of good justice work. In my spare time, I would start a few NGOs to help people who needed it while simultaneously being an adjunct professor of religion and politics and  building my dream home and having a family full of equally accomplished and hilarious individuals."*

I should note, given previous confessions on the topic, that this is not an exaggeration. (I was 19 years old, which explains some of it, but it is pretty ridiculous huh?)

Well, it's been a decade and I've managed to do exactly one of these things which is become a minister (well, two maybe, as Mr. LIOLI is accomplished and fairly hilarious.). Here I am working at this tiny little church that, though it is a lifeline to the 40 folks in it, isn't doing anything majorly groundbreaking or newsworthy. And I go to work every day and don't think about saving the world, but instead I think that I hope the copy toner lasts long enough to make 30 bulletins so I can lead those people in worship. A I think that I hope I have some good supportive conversations afterward. And I think that whoops, I forgot to remind people that we have a budget committee meeting later. And I think that I hope the church doesn't run out of money and have to let me go soon. And sometimes I wonder, what happened? When did I lose all my vision?** It's not that I feel unsatisfied with my life (I don't) or that I believe it's too late to pursue these things if I really wanted to (It isn't), it's just that my life in many ways is so different than what I thought it would be and the things I want and am willing to pursue are so different. I wonder if this is normal. Or if it means that we should put all the 20 year olds in charge of the world before they lose the idealism that makes them tick. For now, I think I'll set my sights high for this weekend in a sermon on baptism and making some fresh ricotta.




*I was thinking of making the subject of this post the embarrassing anecdote that many of my friends love about me coming out of the bathroom one morning while getting ready to go to church and saying to JDogg, while crying, "I thought I would be one of the greats." He simply looked at me over the top of his Consumer Reports Magazine and said, with all the compassion and understanding that make him a perfect partner for me, "Yeah," which somehow made me feel better. But sharing that on the world wide web would just be too silly, right?
**A colleague once explained to me that there were visionary leaders and then people like me, who followed visionary leaders and maintained the status quo by making copies and stuff. True story. Don't worry. I'm totally over that now and not at all compelled to complain about this on the internet.