Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Do This (Well) In Rembrance of Me

So I've noticed a disturbing trend lately that I want to confront (at least to the three people that are potentially reading this blog.) It's this: Low Quality Communion Elements. Twice in the last WEEK I have taken communion and noticed this unfortunate and puzzling change.

The first experience was disappointing in both categories. I got up to the distribution station and was surprised to confront the following two imposters: Pita and White Zinfandel. Yes, it's true. Beringer White Zinfandel has somehow made it into the communion cup. And the pita wasn't just regular, delicious, hummus-scooping pita, but DRY pita, like the kind you got a tuna sandwhich in in the third grade. All washed down with some three-dollar white zinfandel.

The second, and only slightly less offensive, situation involved stale bread and grape Kool-Aid. You've got it. Kool-Aid. Which would explain the intensely purple color of what I was expecting to be grape juice, but indeed it was not grape juice at all, but grape flavored beverage.

Now I've had a variety of things presented to me during communion over the years. Such as the time someone accidently got Cran-Grape instead of regular grape juice, which can be quite surprising to take a swig of, but at least you won't be worried for your urinal tract health! Or the time someone bought bread with whole garlic cloves baked into it, which was a pleasant surprise but made for an uncomfortable coffee hour. But those seemed like isolated incidents, whereas this new phenomenon seems to be a developing habit that must be stopped.

Now the Roman Catholics and the Anglicans, they've got their wafers and strong wine, and I can respect that. But us Protestants, if we're going to go for real bread and grape juice or wine, then we better do it up right. Key words here: Sourdough, French, Paesano, Welches, Pinot Noir, Merlot. I realize we're in a bit of a recession here, but let's get serious: this is Jesus' BODY. It's supposed to nourish us, refresh us, sustain us. And I'm telling you, I don't think Jesus would appreciate some pita and white zinfandel. But maybe it's just me.

p.s. For a great bread recipe that will be sure to satisfy the body and soul see the September 9, 2008 post at www.citylovescountry.com.


  1. that is completely unacceptable. ZINFANDEL? uhhh...

  2. Umm....I'm never calling it anything other than SIN-fandel again.