Thursday, April 30, 2009

Watch It....

So, I've joined Weight Watchers again, mainly just to remind myself why it's not a good idea to eat Indian take out every night and have multiple servings of Brie cheese at every party. I've done it before and it's usually a great wake-up call about my health habits. Also, the stress of graduate school is having an effect on my figure, so it was more than time.

But joining up prompted me to share this story about last time I tried to join Weight Watchers, which is actually inexplicably hilarious.

So we're in the meeting and the leader is describing the plan to us (you know, making good food decisions, planning things out, less bread, more veggies....typical stuff), and in walks a very tall, very skinny woman with green eyebrows. (The color of her eyebrows is irrelevant to the story, but an interesting fact!) Now I'm not one to try to create animosity between women of different sizes and shapes, but this was not the body type one expects to see at a Weight Watchers meeting. However, no one seemed to mind so she sat down. After a few moments, she raises her hand and the following dialog ensued:

Instructor: Hi. Welcome to Weight Watchers. Are you interested in joining us today?
Skinny Lady: No. Actually, some of my co-workers are really overweight so I'm checking out this program so I can recommend it to them.
(At this point, I am beginning to feel a little resentful imagining what I might feel like if one of my coworkers told me that she visited a weight loss meeting in order to check it out for me....I can sense from looking around the table that I'm not alone.)
Instructor: Ummm......okay. Well, as I was saying, with Weight Watchers there is a points value assigned to each different food. You get so many points per day and...
Skinny Lady: Excuse me?
Instructor: Yes?
Skinny Lady: What resources do you have for people who need to gain weight?
(Awkward silence.)
Instructor: Well, not really any. This is mainly a program for people to lose weight or maintain a healthy weight.
Skinny Lady: So you don't have anything for people who are too thin?
Instructor: No.
Skinny Lady: Okay then.....

At which point, I was no longer able to pay attention because my blood pressure had gone up 70% in the last three minutes. In my head, I was thinking of genius things to say to green-eyebrows such as "I'LL GIVE YOU A RESOURCE FOR GAINING WEIGHT: IT'S CALLED A HAMBURGER YOU CRAZY $#%@#" or as my friend N says "You should be aware that you look like a ham sandwhich to everyone in here, so you should watch it....."