Complaint Center

I have an important ethical conundrum for you, dear readers. I've been wondering of late when it is okay to complain about someone, professionally.

Having worked in the service industry in a variety of capacities, I usually operate in the "no-complaining-about-workers-to-their-boss-no-matter-what" solidarity camp. I always try to give them the benefit of the doubt: they might be having a rough day/week/month, maybe they weren't supposed to have to work today but are filling in, or perhaps they don't usually fill in for this position and so aren't properly trained. (Having found myself in all of these positions and more, I have a deep sympathy for them.) However, recently I'm beginning to wonder if this is the best solution for everyone involved. Is it actually better to complain sometimes? If so, what is the best way to do it? (The only time I've ever complained about someone to their superior the whole situation BLEW UP into an incredibly nasty and stupid situation that left awkwardness everywhere like nuclear residue.)

Let me give you an example. A few weeks ago, I went to the salon to get my hair cut. The place was busy but not overly so. The receptionist, upon my arrival, barked "Why don't you go get a smock on?" (Issue #1 Since when do I have to put on my own smock? Issue #2 I have no idea what that means having never been to this particular location before.) I tell her I don't know where the smocks are, she says "in the bathroom". Where's the bathroom? I ask, trying to still sound pleasant. "Down there" she motions dismissively. I tell her who I'm here to see, find the smocks, and sit down to enjoy a juicy issue of Cosmo from 2005 while I wait. 45 minutes later, I am still sitting there having finished the Cosmo, 2 US Weekly's and half of a Self magazine (THIS JUST IN: If you eat less and exercise more, you can lose weight! Get me a subscription!!). Finally, my stylist comes over to me and begins profusely apologizing. The receptionist never told her that I had arrived, and when she had specifically asked if I was her client, the receptionist had said no and went back to filing her nails. (Yes, I'm just sitting here in a smock reading Cosmo because I like the atmosphere....)The stylist felt terrible, and I was more than a bit annoyed. When the stylist motioned to one of the other "junior stylists" (who are these extra people who work at a Salon?) to help shampoo my hair, the girl sighed dramatically and dragged herself over to the sink making it very clear it was extremely inconvenient and annoying for her to have to do her job at this particular moment. After this, things improved a bit. I loved the haircut and would consider going back to this woman again, except for the administrative snafus.

Now the question is, is this something to complain about? Is this sufficient enough to write an email to the manager describing my experience? Or should I post something online? (I almost feel as though that's not fair, because the place has not way to respond.) What would be the purpose of such a complaint? What would I get out of it? What would they?

Thoughts, please...

Self Check Out THIS

For a while now, I've been suspicious that much of modern, novel technology is actually categorically stupid and unhelpful. Don't get me wrong; I'm all for technology in some forms: computers that help me type (and make this blog possible), dishwashers that do the work for me saving my hands from unwanted prune-ish-ness, digital picture frames that stop every flat surface in our small house from becoming cluttered with photos. But there are new and novel items out there that I believe are actually making life (my life at least) worse rather than better.

Case in Point: Grocery Store Self Check Out.

Now, in theory, it makes sense. Avoid the long lines, skip the cashier that may or may not be helpful and pleasant today, zip through the self-check out, scan a few things, and KAZAAM, you're outta there, back to enjoying life in paradise. Unfortunately, it never, ever goes quite this way. In fact, the last time I visited the self-check out, I became engaged in a cosmic battle for control of my groceries...and barely got out alive.

PLEASE SCAN YOUR FISRT ITEM AND PLACE IT IN THE BAG, the machine yells at me. There is not mute option on these bohemouth machines. So I scan my first item.
BLEEEEEP.
A success. I place it in the "bagging area". (I'm going to try to use my own bags to bag my groceries, which is a giant mistake, as trying to do this can anger the self-check-out-machine-gods, as we will see, who will punish you with shame later.)
My second item, breakfast cereal, is also easy.
BLEEEEEP.
The third item is where everything starts to go south. It's a small package of spices (short digression: why are spices 1/12 the price in the hispanic foods section? I feel like I've struck a GOLD mine having figured this out.). Unfortunately, the little envelopes of spices in the hispanic section do not weigh enough for the special machine to recognize. So I scan it,
BLEEP
and put it in the "bagging area" as it declares
PLEASE PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAGGING....
I forsee that this might be a problem so I try to quickly scan the next item.
BLEEP
But it's too late.
PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA.
So I try to put the spice bag on the little metal scales to no avail.
PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA.
I try to take it away to replace it when
AN ITEM HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE BAGGING AREA. PLEASE RETURN THE ITEM TO THE BAGGING AREA. AN ITEM HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE BAGGGING AREA. PLEASE RETURN THE ITEM TO THE BAGGING AREA.
Like some sort of nagging spouse, the machine will continue with this monologue until you offer it something to appease its anger. I try to trick it by placing my reusable bag in the bagging area, like Indiana Jones in the beginning of that one movie where he steals the statue and replaces it with a bag of sand...big mistake.
AN ITEM HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE BAGGING AREA. PLEASE REMOVE ITEM FROM THE BAGGING AREA.
It's like trying to argue with a person who has no access to rational thought. (And is it just me or are its protestations getting louder with each command?) Now the people waiting behind me in line are starting to stare, smugly believing that they can master this process with much more grace. I dutifully, as if appeasing some unseen and moody God, remove the reusable bag from the bagging area, find the "I do not wish to bag this item" button and after a full minute of gargling and whizzing inside the machine, it returns to normal mode. (Don't even get me STARTED on trying to purchase produce with one of these things!) I gingerly scan my next few items, with an appropriate level of apprehension and fear (each time I do this I identify more and more with ancient peoples and their elaborate rituals to please the Gods and elicit Godly favor rather than wrath.)
After only a few more altercations, I manage to get most of my items scanned and stacked, albeit precariously, in "the bagging area." Because the bagging area is not big enough for very many items, and because you can't remove them, it can get very tricky.
I press "Finish and Pay" glad to finally be close to finished with this ordeal.
PLEASE SCAN YOUR REWARDS CARD.
PLEASE CHECK YOUR CART FOR OTHER ITEMS.
PLEASE SCAN ANY COUPONS.
PLEASE SELECT THE PAYMENT METHOD.
I select credit, move to the other end of the machine to scan my card, move back to the front end to enter my zip code, move back to the other end to approve the amount....
PLEASE USE PINPAD TO COMPLETE YOUR TRANSACTION.
Now I'm getting flustered with all these commands, so I do not see that Mr. Love-it-or-leav-it has decided to help by beginning to bag our items in our resulable bags. It is our downfall.
AN ITEM HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE BAGGING AREA. PLEASE RETURN ITEM TO THE BAGGING AREA.
AN ITEM HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE BAGGING AREA. PLEASE RETURN ITEM TO THE BAGGING AREA.
AN ITEM HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE BAGGING AREA. PLEASE RETURN ITEM TO THE BAGGING AREA.
It has become too much. We have been defeated. The annoyed customers behind us give us shaming looks, the store staff who have been loitering around the manager's station this whole time are staring at us. We replace the items, finish the transaction, then quickly try to bag our items and flee the scene, leaving in a whirlwind of anger and humiliation. I have to take a 3 hour nap later in the day to recover.



Now tell me, fair readers, is this technological advancement is a sign of development? Is it helping us live better lives or save time for other, more important an fulfilling activities? Or is it something used to punish us for our constant need to innovate? And it's not just your local Star Market: these things are everywhere, from Costco to Home Depot (can you imagine going through one of these things with a five gallon bucket of mayonnaise or a two-by-four???) For my money, I'm with staying in the stone age, my mental health, and spice envelope fully intact and headed for my nearest, potentially grumpy cashier.

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999!

My tenth high school reunion is taking place this weekend. It's crazy for me to think that a decade has already passed since I walked the halls of my high school, but it's true. Unfortunately, I won't be there to participate in the blessed event. My new job, as it turns out, cramps my ability to travel on the weekend.


So, instead, I wanted to project the following reflections into cyberspace on why I'm glad I'm 28 and no longer 18 in the form of the following top ten list.

"What I've Learned Since High School":
10. Most of what I learned in High School I've now forgotten.
9. Caring what people I don't care about think about me is not a good use of my mental energy.
8. Tighter clothing is not necessarily better clothing.
7. Uncomfortable shoes can cause nothing but blisters and heartache.
6. Subtle, well-thought-out rebellion is much more effective than momentary idiocy.
5. Never tell God what you'll never do.
4. I don't actually know everything.
3. Friendship is never like it is in the movies: it's better and worse in unexpected ways.
2. I actually really like my parents, value their opinion and want to spend time with them.
1. I'm actually pretty great, and unfortunately, I'll never get back all the hours I spent worrying about my flaws.

Perhaps I'll put my 20 year reunion on my calendar now. I can't even fathom how much more attractive and comfortable with myself I'll be by then. They probably won't even recognize me.

Better late than....the first one at the party?

As a (usually) punctual person, I have been recently challenged by the developing trend of tardiness that seems to be overtaking the social landscape. The last three parties I have been to, I've appeared relatively on time to find out that myself and my partner-in-crime are the first to arrive...by about 30 minutes! This combined with being the first (and for a while, only) one at half a dozen meetings this month has left me wondering:

If you know everyone else will be late, is it okay to be late yourself? When a party is at 7:30, when should I arrive? If I'm the only one at the meeting, should I start it myself?

As of now, I'm feeling as though I either need to adjust my internal social clock or move to Switzerland.